Tag Archive | lawrence bolden

This Is How A Heart Breaks

We’re just the narrators, the storytellers.  We are the witnesses who relay the facts, the who what when where why.

WHY.

What if there IS NO why.

What if we, as journalists, are among those asking why.

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His name was Lawrence Bolden III.  A big name for such a little boy.  Most of Omaha (and beyond) knew him simply as Baby Lawrence, a cherubic toddler, grinning from his hospital bed as his mom and nurses encouraged him to smile.  I went to his funeral this afternoon.

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 Her name was Kayla Hebenstreit.  That smile.. stunning, and GENUINE.  When we shared Kayla’s story last December, how she was diagnosed with cancer for a fourth time just one month after delivering her first baby, hundreds of thousands of people were touched by her fight.  Kayla passed away Sunday morning.

WHY.

They were two people who just GOT life, who did everything right.  Lawrence exhibited pure love and strength.  At just two years old, all he knew was how to love.  He scanned a room for his momma no matter who else was there.  He grinned for his daddy while sitting on his lap in the hospital.  He cooed for the Children’s Hospital nurses who cared for him for so long.  He just LOVED.

Kayla didn’t dream of money or yachts or Jimmy Choos.. she treasured every kiss from her husband, every moment cradling her baby girl, Kendall.  Her message to her daughter, back when we spoke in December, was that she just wanted her to know how hard she tried to beat this, and how much she loved her.

And their families.. Lawrence’s mom, Shalina, a woman who got up early every single day to get her little girls to school, work full time, then rush her family every single night to her baby boy’s bedside at the hospital.  Joe Hebenstreit didn’t leave his wife’s side in her final weeks, working from home a few hours a day so he’d always be there for his best friend and love.

Why did two such incredible people and their loved ones have to face such unimaginable fights?  Why did Kayla’s cancer come back when she’d beat it so many times?  Why didn’t Baby Lawrence’s transplant, a miracle in itself, work?

WHY.

PREACHY ALERT from a mom who listened to One Sweet Day today, while watching a home video of Lawrence crawling in his hospital room.  Go home tonight and look, really look, into the eyes of your babies, husbands and wives, and loved ones.  Smile.  Hug them and kiss them.  Laugh.  When the tiny little things we let ruin our days come up.. remember, they are NOTHING.   Everything? LOVE.  I guess that’s what I’m trying to take from this.  That even though my eyes are sore from crying, and my heart is breaking for these families, I will try to pass on what Lawrence and Kayla taught me.  TO LOVE deeper and to put aside the crap that doesn’t matter.  As one of Lawrence’s family members said at his funeral today, if a 2-year old can go through all of the surgeries, procedures, needle pokes and pinches, and still just SMILE… WE certainly should.  If a new mother, facing painful, grueling treatments just for the chance at life with her family, can still SMILE, WE should.  Be thankful for every GOOD moment, celebrate LIFE and time together.  LOVE.

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Lawrence and Kayla, your legacies will live on.  Those who knew you are better people because you were in their lives.  You don’t have to fight anymore, no more pain and suffering.  I pray you have found peace.

I know you found love.

**

To learn more about Kayla Hebenstreit, join her thousands of supporters in Kayla’s Crew; click here for the Kayla’s Crew Facebook page, and click here for the website.  You can also read my first blog post on Kayla, You Think You Have Time.

To learn more about Lawrence Bolden III, click here to visit his Facebook page.  You can also read my blog post about Lawrence and his journey, Saving Baby Lawrence.

Saving Baby Lawrence

There are few things more innocent, more perfect, more beautiful, than watching a baby turn because they recognize the sound of their parent’s voice.  Thinking back on those moments with my own boys brings me to tears.  I remember seeing their first smiles, and knowing they were smiling at me, their momma.

The first time I met Baby Lawrence, that’s what I remember most.  He only had eyes for his mom.

Shalina and Lawrence

We get Facebook messages, tweets, and emails everyday from viewers asking us to do stories.  THANK YOU for that!  YOU are the eyes and ears of our community, YOU are who help us tell stories.  I wish we could tell them all.

I don’t know how many messages I got that day last March, but there was SOMETHING about Shalina Bolden’s message to me that pulled at my heart.  A mother, writing to me from her son’s room at Children’s, where he had been for MONTHS.  Her son was very sick with a very rare disease; she needed help.

#CantStopWontStop

She had that phrase EVERYWHERE across her Facebook page.

#CantStopWontStop

Shalina Bolden would not quit fighting until her son was living a healthy, happy life.

#CantStopWontStop

***

Lawrence and my son, Evan, are less than two months apart in age.  As any mom does, I couldn’t help but compare the two.  First, BABY LAWRENCE IS A BIG BOY!!  I think during that first visit, Shalina told me she was buying 2T t-shirts for Lawrence’s 1st birthday outfit.  He was also popping four teeth at the time and was a drooling machine!  But while my little Evan was scooting around and playing with toys (mostly his brother’s), Baby Lawrence was stuck in his hospital bed.  The same hospital bed he had been in for FIVE MONTHS.  Lawrence was born with complete Di’George Syndrome, possibly the first child in Nebraska to have it.  Lawrence had lung issues, a heart defect and NO IMMUNE SYSTEM.  To even see him, my photographer Dave Hynek and I, as well as Children’s Media Relations Director Cherie Lytle, had to scrub our hands and gown up top to bottom, (including our faces, hair and shoes), before entering Lawrence’s room.  A simple cold that our bodies could fight off, could’ve killed Lawrence.

FIVE MONTHS.  He’d been in that bed FOR FIVE MONTHS.  That’s all I kept thinking about.  He hadn’t been to a park.  He hadn’t been in a stroller.  He couldn’t just crawl around his living room floor playing with blocks and Hot Wheels.  He’d been in a hospital room for five months.

That got to me, and what almost brought me to tears was thinking about the time he spent in that room alone.  Shalina worked full time at a nursing home.  She often went straight to Lawrence’s bedside after her shift, and her young daughters knew Children’s like a second home.  Still, I kept thinking of those hours she couldn’t be there, and of Lawrence, alone in his hospital bed.

“I just want Lawrence to have a chance at life,” Shalina told me that day, through tears.  “To understand what it’s like to not be in a hospital bed.”

Shalina got word of a procedure that offered hope; a thymus transplant only being performed by one doctor at Duke University, and it was not federally approved.  At the time Shalina contacted me, the state of Nebraska had denied the family’s request, twice, to cover a thymus transplant.  Doctors told Shalina Bolden that Lawrence might live to see his second birthday.

#CantStopWontStop

***

Our first story aired March 30, 2014.

 Baby Lawrence, wearing a onesie reading ‘Bananas for Mommy’, stole viewers’ hearts around the country (ABC News also picked up his story.)  Changes were already in the works; after our interview with Shalina we learned the state set aside earlier coverage denials.  Advocates with the state of Nebraska, Duke University Medical Center including Dr. Louise Markert, and Lawrence’s team at Children’s, all joined forces to figure out a solution.

#CantStopWontStop

***

April 14, 2014, I was sitting at my desk in the Newsplex and took a phone call.

It was Shalina Bolden, in tears.  Nebraska Medicaid approved Lawrence’s transplant.  Photographer John Matya and I were there as Shalina told her family, friends and the nurses who had cared for her baby for so many months, that Baby Lawrence was finally getting his surgery.  He had just turned 1 year old a few days earlier.

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“It took a couple of minutes for it to digest and then tears just fell down my face,” Shalina told me.

At that point, Lawrence was third on the transplant list.  He had to be healthy enough to fly to Duke; he had to be healthy enough for surgery.

Shalina had to leave her job.. and her two daughters.  She had to find someone to take care of her little girls, while she took care of her little boy in a strange place far from home.

Bolden family

What Shalina thought would be eight weeks turned into nearly four months, waiting for that bittersweet moment when she’d leave her children to give her baby boy a chance at life.

baby lawrence july

#CantStopWontStop

***

August 19, 2014, Baby Lawrence, at just 16-months old, took his first jet ride.

lawrence on plane

“We landed and Lawrence slept through the whole flight and everything,” Shalina messaged me.

More waiting. Lawrence stood for the first time on September 18th..

September 18, Lawrence standing for first time

He started to learn how to crawl in his new hospital room..

lawrence crawling

His mom rarely left his side..

shalina and lawrence sept

..heartbreaking for this mother of not one, but three children.  While Shalina and Lawrence waited in North Carolina through August and then September, her sister cared for her daughters, Ja’Era and Ja’Lesia, 20 hours away in Omaha.

October 11, girls at school txt from teacher

“I miss my girls like crazy.  It is very hard to be away,” Shalina told me.  “My oldest daughter just had a birthday, that was super hard, but I’ve explained it to them so they understand why I’m away.”

#CantStopWontStop

***

September 26, 2014.
“A pray has been answered today!” Shalina posted on Facebook.  “I got confirmation that Lawrence will be getting his transplant October 9th!!! If everyone can keep him in your prayers.”

On the morning of October 9, 2014, ‘Baby Lawrence’ Bolden finally received the transplant his mom fought so hard for.

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Later that same day, Shalina sent me a message.

“Everything went good, it only took an hour,” she said.  “He is already back to being busy Lawrence.”

See for yourself; click here to watch KETV’s follow up featuring Baby Lawrence’s story and transplant

I cannot get ENOUGH of this little man.  So many surgeries, so many needle pokes and painful procedures and long waits.  And yet, he is SO SWEET!  Always smiling, always big, open eyes checking out his world, and still, always looking at his momma.

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Author Elizabeth Stone once wrote: “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”

As a mother, you would do anything for your child.  You would take on their pain so they wouldn’t feel it.  You stay awake all night holding them if it gives them comfort.  You would die in an instant for them.

Shalina Bolden NEVER took no for an answer to save her little boy.

#CantStopWontStop

God willing, she’ll have her little boy home and healthy, with his sisters, for the first time in a year.. just in time for Christmas.